What is an orgasm exactly?
Most of us have come to believe that an orgasm is that moment after a build up of energy in our genitals when we experience a feeling of 'explosion' or 'release' and usually a drop-off in energy after. Often when we have this kind of orgasm, we create tension in the body and hold our breath in order to 'achieve' it. We are usually referring to a sensation from the past that we would like to experience, and we are dreaming of the future when we will again be filled with that rush of pleasure.....all fine, but what about being here and now?
Any meditator knows that the thought behind any and all forms of meditation, inculding Tantra, is to be totally present to what is happening NOW. The idea is that beyond our thoughts from the past or the future, lies the true bliss that this moment has to offer.
In Tantra, we say that we are actually orgasmic beings. Which means that when we are totally present to this moment, in our body, and we are free from tension and blocks, we are actually in an orgasmic state. WHOOPIE!
Suddenly, this makes meditating sound a lot more interesting...
So, if I am an orgasmic being....then why would I spend my energy trying to 'have an orgasm'? I don't need to. What would happen if when I experienced that feeling of arousal in my genitals instead of tensing my body and thinking of how I want to have an orgasm, what if I relaxed my body and allowed the arousal to show me a new sensation? One that is not based on the past or the future, one that is unfolding right here and now in my body.
The truth is that there is MUCH more pleasure available for us than we have allowed in. The Tantric meditations have been one of the tools that have allowed me to discover the pleasure in my body, but the most powerful discoveries have come from within. The moments when I have dared to relax my body and allow it to take me to the places that I may have been avoiding while I was heading for my precious 'orgasm'.
What my body has shown me is a sensation of aliveness running all through me, arousal encompassing my entire body, a feeling that I can best describe as sitting in the center of the 2-3 second orgasms I had become accustomed to. This pleasure can stretch out forever because it is simply my natural state, rediscovered. I can experience this state throughout my lovemaking, and beyond that I can experience it in everything that I do. Sipping a cup of tea, working at my computer, chatting with a friend. The only thing that is required is that I keep breathing, relax my body, and allow life to surprise me.
For more information about how you can discover this orgasmic state check out one of Embody Tantra's April classes or read more about it in my very favorite book Tantric Orgasm for Women. Even though the book is geared for women, I find it amazingly supportive for men as well. Enjoy!