Wow. Life is so unbelievably delicious. I just got back from a sunset meditation on the beach with a Tantric named Peter. He calls the breathing techniques he presents 'shakti pot'. My understanding of the meaning of that is to allow the essence of life to live through you... I am sure there are many interpretations.
We breathe heavily as we stare at the setting sun over the ocean.
As each sequence of 4 or 5 breaths completes I allow my body to be enveloped by a feeling of coming apart. I feel as though I die for a moment, everything that I hold onto to make life make sense comes undone and seems unimportant. I feel confused, but safe and happy.
Each time, I don't know if I will ever come back...to life on this earth. And I don't mind if I do or don't. It seems irrelevant. I am shocked to find myself within moments back on this earth, in this human body, able to still listen and understand words and function. When everything disappears I am certain that I have forgotten it forever.
Life feels softer and sweeter after. Things seem less important. It is freeing.
Sometimes I feel like I am so 'in' being a human and making my life work, and keeping it real, and staying down to earth, and, and, and.. that I forget how bizarre and delightful it is to be alive. I forget what a miracle it is that the sun rises and sets each day, that the waves ebb and flow, that the seasons change...
I am a little bit embarrassed to be talking about something so ethereal. I pride myself on being so 'down to earth'...and yet, I have lost touch. Life is so sweet and so simple. Even as I say that my mind rushes up with a thousand reasons it is not true.
I wish that I could always feel the world around me as I do in this moment.
I wish that I could remember to be simple.
When I got home I was gifted an amazing email from a friend with this link http://videos.komando.com/2008/06/26/christian-the-lion/
when I watched it I burst into tears and for the first time in a long time I felt absolutely blessed to be alive on this earth.