My beloved returned from an all-night sweat lodge on Sunday, warm and open. He was so gentle, so melted and so alive that it was nearly impossible to hold back around him, although some part of me seemed determined to try. I found myself running into a dangerous mindfuck which creates distance between me and man. ...and he just kept glowing and loving. In his radiance I felt my resistance melting away and I was transported to a magical land... the present. Here I was gifted with a love that I am never sure if I am deserving of, here I find myself constantly in dynamic new territory beyond knowing how to 'be', here it is demanded of me that I show up only in love and here I experience what I know to be the simple pleasure of being alive; but for most it is a pleasure beyond what they dare to dream.
And this proves a point I often find myself called on to share, only one of you has to change. Yes, only one of you, and I recommend that you begin with you. In this case, I lucked out, my beloved made a shift within himself and it was so fundamental, so profound that I could not help, but meet him in the moment.
I find the same thing happens when I am the one who has shifted. Always.
It's in the realm of like attracts like. A profound opening inside of you will call that forth in the heart of your beloved, or vice versa.
When my heart opens, my body opens. I think this is something that is often overlooked or misunderstood by men. When my man is showing up for himself, when he is growing in his own way and when that power he finds within himself overflows and he showers me with his love, even when we are not in bed... it is so fucking hot. Few things call to the heart of woman (or at least this woman) than a man in his power loving, loving, and loving her. Loving her when she wakes, loving her when she sleeps, loving her when she dances, loving her when she cries... I would consider all of this essential foreplay. Each moment feeling his love massages me and creates a sweet opening to take him inside of me.
Once inside, I can begin to unfold even further as I challenge myself to trust. It is a challenge because I, like many women, have been raised to believe that I should never surrender to man, never let my guard down. And yet, in honoring that way of thinking I have denied myself the true union which I long for more than anything else.