So much of how we are showing up sexually has been implanted by ideas from our friends, magazines, society. So little of it is coming from within. In fact, most of us have no idea how we would behave sexually if we had not been guided by these external forces. Everything from the idea of what an orgasm should look like, to how often we should have them, to what our lover should do to give them to us, to how big or hard their penis should be or what is the best shape for her breasts. What I have found is that actually what I have truly been craving sexually, what some small part of me deep inside has been calling for, was actually almost completely different than what I thought I wanted and how I was operating sexually.
For example, I used to be very attached to my explosive clitoral orgasm and I would often get into patterns with the men I was with where I would basically demand that they go down on me and bring me to an orgasm before I took them inside of me. It was always ‘my turn first’ as it were, and I considered myself to be lucky to have partners who were willing to 'make sure that I was satisfied'...
As I began to become more in tune with the messages in my body, that began to feel less authentic and I found myself opening up in different ways… I even noticed when I did follow that old pattern, I would become wet, but in some ways my vagina would be tight when I took my lover inside of me, rather than warm and open and receptive. I noticed that it was when my lover paid attention to my breasts that my vagina would actually become totally receptive so that when I did take him inside of me, I was sensitive to him and I felt like I was inviting him in to a rich landscape. My vagina would become so sensitive in fact, that I ultimately became orgasmic from the moment he entered my body.
This was a huge shift and it came not only from allowing myself to listen to the messages of my body, but also from giving myself permission to do it differently. The book Tantric Orgasm for Women played a huge part in me discovering that I was not alone in this and reading it helped me to give myself permission to try things radically differently and say 'yes' to the voice inside of me.
Again, it is when we begin to truly connect within that we are able to hear these messages that we have overridden for most of our lives.
Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide. Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses. If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.
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