Stillness in Lovemaking (and a secret lasting longer in bed)

I have said it before, and I will say it again... the bodies have a language of their own.  Most of us have stopped listening when our bodies talk and because of that we have suffered.  We have suffered because we have isolated ourselves, not only from each other, but most importantly from ourselves. The other day my man and I were making love and he paused, as he often does, and rested inside of me.  With him resting inside my body I began to receive information from his body into mine.  An entire symphony of information.  It felt like a blooming, it began from his penis and then spread out through my body... reaching to the top of my scull and the tips of my toes, pressing against the inside of my skin to the outer edges of me.

He began to move again and it was as though the information withdrew or pulled back as he pulled back to thrust into me.  It was startling and unsettling.  As he continued to move gently in and out of me I noticed that I was consistently experiencing this unsettled sensation of trying to receive the information, but not being able to 'pin it down' or absorb it.  Fascinating.

Now, I there are other times when he is moving and I can fully receive what his body is sharing with me, and other languages where I can feel the building of fullness with the intense movement... moments where the way that he is penetrating me feels almost blinding and that feeling of losing control is profound in its own way...

And yet, this experience, which I have often had, of longing for him to stay still so I could drink in this deep knowledge of my man, inspired me to share with the world how important these moments of pause can be.

Many of us are caught in a habitual loop of feeling that we always have to 'do' something in lovemaking.  That there is some great technique that will wow our lover and make them love and approve of us or satisfy them beyond belief.  And sometimes within that we are missing the simple magic.  We are railroading over the very connection that we so long for, the connection that nourishes and enlivens.  The connection where two human beings actually enter into a union and open to one another.  Perhaps open and share in a way that is not possible with words or in daily interactions (as we know them).

So, I would like to invite you all to explore the stillness.  Allow it to teach you about what is possible between two bodies as it re-sensitizes you to the moment.

Men ~ it is important to understand that I have just exposed a valuable secret to lasting longer in bed... when/if you feel you are moving toward ejaculation and you would like to postpone it... don't leave your woman by thinking of baseball or whatever techniques you have created to repress the energy.  Simply allow your body to relax, be still.  Yes, your erection may shift and change while you are still, you may not be as hard as when you are thrusting... this is okay.

Take this time to look your woman in the eyes, caress her body and allow yourself and her to simply relish in the connection between the two bodies.  When and if it feels right to move again you can, as the bond between you has ripened you may notice a new richness as you move inside of her.  You may even notice that your penis is more sensitive to what her body is truly longing for.  Within lovemaking you can pause as many times as you like and you may even choose to experiment with completing your lovemaking this way, simply allowing the charge you have built from moving the bodies to nourish you rather than ending with a big explosion.

There is no 'right' way to make love.  Explosions are wonderful, fucking is wonderful... and now you can begin to explore this concept of stillness and see what the process reveals to you about lovemaking and the possibilities.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through events, workshops & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

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