What an amazing weekend. I shared the work I love so much in a two day workshop. After the workshop ended, I felt something new open up inside of me. I felt warm and open and vibrant. When my Love and I got home we made love and it had a new and dynamic playfulness and passion. I allowed myself to enjoy him and delight in his body. I feel like for some reason every so often I don't let myself have all the pleasure that is avaialble because on some level I am busy holding a grudge on man or living in fear that if I truly surrender to this I have somehow lost the upper hand. I don't know exactly what I am fighting for, perhaps it is just an age-old power struggle.
What I will say is this, life is so much sweeter, lovemaking is so much sweeter, my relationship is so much richer when I give it up. Give up trying to be right, give up carefully controlling how much love I express in any given moment, give up holding back, give up protecting myself.
As I gave up last night I felt my body open. I let my Beloved touch me so deeply that it scared me. I felt an ache inside of me that his penetrating seemed to aggravate...and still I surrendered. And somehow magically, my body opened up and I allowed him to uncover this long lost part of me.
It is tender, it is raw. It is the unknown place... where I am not a teacher, not a lover, I cannot be defined. I don't know myself. The place where I simply 'am'. And then I don't have to worry about any 'Tantric Technique' or how to 'get it right' or how to 'be a good person' or 'seek enlightenment' or even how to achieve multiple orgasms... in this moment of presence those ideas and stories have no space to survive...
P.S. Want some help integrating Tantra into your life? Come and check out our BIG EVENT Evening of Awakening this Saturday 7-11pm in Santa Monica, CA http://eveningofawakening.com
P.P.S. Not local to LA, but you want to get started from home? Check out my new home-study course for women http://awakentoyourbody.com
Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide. Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses. If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.