What is Tantric Lovemaking? (Part I)

What does ‘Tantric Sex’ mean exactly?

The fact that you’re reading this post means it’s likely you have some desire or curiosity to begin to experience a greater connection to your body.

And, whether or not you came with a specific interest in sexuality, exploring who you are sexually and what is possible within your human body, is an essential part of our development as we allow ourselves to live more and more of our essence or our ‘highest self’ - as some language it.

Some of you have read in one of my previous posts, or seen in one of my videos, the intro that I often share about Tantra. Tantra is not simply a collection of sex techniques... in fact, not at all. It is actually a path of meditation. What sets it apart from other paths of meditation is that rather than transcending the body, we look to the body, we look to the senses as a way to become truly intimate with the present moment (which is where love, bliss, enlightenment, etc all reside). Because Tantra looks to our humanity AS our path to the divine, it necessarily looks at how energy moves in the body. It looks to what are the things we can activate within our bodies that open us to more energy and more aliveness, ultimately guiding us to experience our full potential.

This exploration and science of noticing how energy is activated in the body, necessarily leads to investigating sex. Let’s forget our cultural reference points for a moment and think simply about the essence of what sex really is...

MINI practice:

  • Take a moment to relax where you are sitting, close your eyes
  • Remember a recent moment that had to do with sex (having sex, thinking about it, seeing a sexy billboard).
  • Once you can see and feel this moment, take a few deep breaths and on the exhale imagine that you are letting go of this image.
  • Repeat this process for about 5 different moments within your life that have centered around how you experience sex, how your ideas about sex were formed.
  • HINT: you might want to include among your moments; the first time you found out what sex was, the first time you remember having an orgasm, etc... some of the ‘key’ moments in your sexual development.
  • imagine ‘letting go’ of each of these images ~ as though you are wiping the slate clean.

From this clear space, let’s go on an adventure!

Let’s imagine we are single-celled, very-smart aliens from another planet. In order to reproduce on our planet we divide ~ we are asexual...

We have decided to visit the planet earth to observe these beings and research them. During our visit we notice something spectacular... much (not all, but much) of the life on this planet is divided into 2 parts. These two parts manifest within the human species as beings that can see, understand and do many of the same things, however, they have different hormones in different cycles in the body, their perception of the world is arguably different though they may see, understand and do many of the same things and, the most magical thing about these beings is that they literally fit together like puzzle pieces.

The male, has an organ that fits directly into his female counterpart. What’s even more remarkable is that when these two beings come together, they generate the most potent form of pure life-force energy. It pulses within their bodies and they have access to powerful states of bliss and ecstasy within this act. Perhaps more miraculous, is that it is through this act, through this energy that is generated between them, that the female can become impregnated, grow a new life (that did not exist before on the planet and that could not grow without the union between the two ~ meaning ~ she can’t do this alone just by generating her own energy) in her body.

After incubating the new being in her body for 9 months, she births it into the world and a completely new human being is brought into form on the planet.

Together, through this act, these two human beings played a role in a miracle, new life was born.

Back to earth...

When I share this story it might sound sterile and it might even sound weird or icky to some of us. We have become so disconnected from our bodies, so influenced by thousands of years of perversion around our sexuality that to speak of it in a simple way can seem weird or wrong. To speak about it in a sacred way can seem simply sacrilegious.

Many of us have been taught some version of;

‘yes, you have a body, but we don’t really talk about that... except to mention exactly how you ‘should’ want to look and you will be constantly shown photos/ moving images of what you should strive for,’

Many of us had no idea that sex/sexuality even existed until we are between 6-10 years old. Meaning, we didn’t even know that men/women fit together and come into union. Few of us discover that there is great pleasure to be had and energy to be generated by touching the genitals, but many of those few are told at best, ‘that’s fine, but do it only in private’ OR we are shamed because of our parents own confusion and misunderstanding about sex.

Think about it.

Why in the world would this magical act be secret? Why should it be hidden from children? Why have we decided that things that give us the greatest pleasure and potentially the deepest connection to ourselves and the greatest empowerment be hidden and/or forbidden and punished?

There are, of course, historical theories as to why this is what we experience culturally, but that is not what this article is about.

What I am attempting to do is point you towards the possibility of seeing this from another angle. A PURE perspective. I would like to allow you to wipe the slate clean and begin to re-introduce yourself to your sexuality from this completely new and pure place. Like a child. With joy, with pleasure, with vibrancy.

I would like to invite you to see the things that you have been taught and have unconsciously agreed to as possibly untrue and ultimately limiting. If you can begin to allow yourself to explore even that possibility then you have the potential to begin on the path to experiencing Tantric lovemaking.

...stay tuned for Part II of this article where we will explore what the original Tantrikas had in mind regarding lovemaking. ;)

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