“I am having the best sex of my life and my intuition says that this only the beginning.” ~ Abdon
This article by Abdon is part of a series of 'What is Tantra?' articles written by members of the community who have been studying for at least a year. They were asked to write from their heart about what Tantra has given them and how they have come to understand it based on their personal journey.
I have always been a very sexual person. I have had several sexual partners and I was happy with my sex life.
When I started working with Martin and Charu several things started to change. First I was able to move the sexual energy in a different way and I could achieve full body orgasms. I was able, after a while, to orgasm almost at will and I can now decide when to have an orgasm with or without ejaculation by just moving the energy. I cannot emphasize this enough, since now I can have as many orgasms as I want and thus, this is very important to me, lovemaking changed its focus from the stress of having or giving an orgasm to my partner (even though I was not aware of this at the time) to the relaxed state of just enjoying the process and really being there for her.
Having simultaneous orgasms with my sexual partner became easy, it just started to happen all the time. And we don’t even have to have intercourse to get there, sometimes simply hugging or laying down after lovemaking.
This has taken my lovemaking to a state which I had only read was possible but not quite believed it could be attained. I am having the best sex of my life and my intuition says that this only the beginning.
* Tantra integrates me
If I look at all the training that I had in my life I have to say that has been mainly focused in the intellect and my physical body. The intellect does not only come from my engineering background but also I belonged to a school in which (at least for me) the teaching were very “intellectual”) and I read a lot of philosophy trying to understand what being awake was all about. On the physical side I have practiced martial arts for many years and done several physically intensive practices. Summary I got a lot of information, a strong will power but with a big ego a not much of a capacity to feel and be sensitive.
Tantra is the first discipline that grounds me, takes me into my body, my mind goes quiet and my emotions show up. What I have experienced is that in that state my mind quiets and the future starts to disappear. Tension goes down and then fun appears.
* Tantra softens me
I have to say that I am very sexual. It has been like this all my life. People say that I have a strong sexual energy. Of course I always liked this and my relation with women has been good (at least I think so). Most of my friends are female and most of them are ex-girlfriends or lovers.
But when I started interacting with women in the community it was clear that I was aggressive in the way I felt. Took me a while to see that.
In this point Tantra has made me aware of this. But the most important part is that I realized that I can be as sexual as I want to be and at the same time be soft and sensitive. Still working on this though.
In any case I have to say that sex after Tantra is a completely different ball game. Now, when having sex, I am present with little effort. And the orgasms…. well you guys know. But most importantly when relating to women with which I have a relationship I can feel the stronger connection, I can feel that a Big opening is ready to happen.
* Tantra makes me feel safe
This is something that I felt when working in groups within the community. I feel that I am accepted. The feeling is that whatever I share will be respected and accepted. I have never felt a more safe and delicious (no other word for this) container. In my previous training Input was given in a sort of brutal way. This was never my cup of tea. I felt that there was not much love there. In that sense my martial arts group was much more supporting and loving.
* Tantra is fun
Finally I have to say that I am having fun. I tried to live according to what Osho says “joy has to be your guide”. Only Tantra has given me a glimpse of what this means and more importantly I have more joy.
Abdon's Tantric journey began with The Awaken Weekend, our Embody Tantra, Level 1 experience. If you are interested in beginning your journey please go to www.TheAwakenWeekend.com to register for our May 2/3 event. :)