I was working with a couple recently who had been fighting and feeling disconnected. They wanted to talk to work out the details of the challenges they have been having...and they wanted to learn techniques that would make sex better for both of them.
I’ve had a challenging week. I’ve been on edge and having strong mood swings. My behavior has created distance between my sweetheart and I...
I have, for a very long time, been committed to ‘perfection’ ~ whatever that really means. I have assessed every situation and strategically made choices that would have me show up in the best way possible. Somehow I was wired to believe that if I did it ‘wrong’ (by whose judgement? I don’t know…) I would die, I would be punished.
Just a few weeks ago we were so agitated with one another it seemed hard to remember what it even felt like to be connected. And today, love. Today, missing him when he's just gone to the coffee shop. Today, wishing I could spend all day in his arms.
Imagine You're In One Of Those Uncomfortable Situations... You know that feeling, that shameful feeling when someone you love is angry with you, triggered by something you’ve done. Your body turns rigid, maybe gets hot or cold, your jaw gets tight...sometimes you are even holding back tears.
They have misunderstood you. It’s not your fault. You were doing your best…
You know that moment when you're kissing and cuddling or deep into foreplay and something just goes sour? Maybe you can tell that your partner isn't really 'here' with you or you're worrying about not being aroused or thoughts wander to your 'to do' list or even to that episode of Game of Thrones. Once you notice something is off, you have a couple of choices; get offended and shut down, just decide it's not the right time or keep going pretending nothing is wrong...
We have been sold so many concepts about love and light and being loving in every moment, to every person... unfortunately, when this idea isn't understood or integrated we become even more disconnected. Learning a 'behavior' that indicates we are loving, rather than actually being loving or experiencing love.
The truth about our capacity to experience more love is complex.
I'm standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth in my short-denim skirt which is all wrong for how cold it is- even inside the house. I put it on because I know Martin loves it and we are about to have time to connect and make-love this morning. We've had a rough couple of days and I thought I would make an extra effort.
Women, let’s be honest. It can become almost stressful to think about orgasm. Did I have one? Should I fake since it’s not happening? Why isn’t he doing that thing that works for me? What if you could shift this? What if you could step out of that powerless feeling of wondering if your body will do what you want it to and if he will do what works for you?
Often, even in a relationship that seems practically perfect, we can come up against that one big issue that seems like it could tear the whole thing apart. How can we find a way to dance with these big issues and open ourselves to the deeper lessons they have to offer us?