This week all of our teachers in training are teaching their first self-produced practice class. Each of these trainers have been devoted students and practitioners for many years with me and I am so excited for them to take this next step!
Imagine You're In One Of Those Uncomfortable Situations... You know that feeling, that shameful feeling when someone you love is angry with you, triggered by something you’ve done. Your body turns rigid, maybe gets hot or cold, your jaw gets tight...sometimes you are even holding back tears.
They have misunderstood you. It’s not your fault. You were doing your best…
Pleasure is something we all long for and beyond just feeling good it is a gateway to something that all meditation practitioners, self-help junkies (you know who you are) ;) and enlightenment seekers are searching for... the present moment.
The problem is that because of our life experiences many of us have numbed out to protect ourselves. Even if we can touch some kind of peace in our quiet meditations, we may notice that we are not experiencing what we truly long for in our lovemaking and intimate relationships.
You know that moment when you're kissing and cuddling or deep into foreplay and something just goes sour? Maybe you can tell that your partner isn't really 'here' with you or you're worrying about not being aroused or thoughts wander to your 'to do' list or even to that episode of Game of Thrones. Once you notice something is off, you have a couple of choices; get offended and shut down, just decide it's not the right time or keep going pretending nothing is wrong...
We have been sold so many concepts about love and light and being loving in every moment, to every person... unfortunately, when this idea isn't understood or integrated we become even more disconnected. Learning a 'behavior' that indicates we are loving, rather than actually being loving or experiencing love.
The truth about our capacity to experience more love is complex.
Have you ever had your heart broken by a teacher?
It goes something like this: you found someone inspiring, resonated with their message, and got incredibly excited about the possibilities for enlightenment and growth! Then, somewhere along the way, they said something that you didn’t agree with or made you incredibly uncomfortable. Or worse yet, you found out that there was some not-so-spiritual behavior going on behind the scenes.
I experienced my first orgasm at fourteen years old by accident, in the bathtub.
Just a few weeks before my boyfriend, Kirk, had asked me if I touched myself. He wanted to know what I liked so he could give it to me (how freakin' amazing is that for a fourteen year old boy? I have much to thank him for, but that's another story). I remember telling him that there was no reason to touch myself because pleasure would only feel good if he gave it to me.
Whether we like it and buy into it or not, we have been served a dream of what our lives should be like since we were young. And no matter what we consciously think about that dream, the programming is there. The great 'American Dream' is something else, it was dreamed up long ago and has since been painted in a light that no one's life can live up to. The more we compare ourselves against this dream, the less available we are to the beauty that is present in our lives.
Often when we are seeking out answers around our sexual challenges we are led to things that can feel disconnected.
In this pic we start our journey into the Unknown about to enter 'Opaque' restaurant: Dining in total darkness...